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Great News! The Surge Worked! |
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According to John “100 years” McCain and Joe “douche bag” Lieberman, the surge in Iraq worked!
It was exactly one year ago tonight, in a televised address to the nation, that President George W. Bush announced his fateful decision to change course in Iraq, and to send five additional U.S. combat brigades there as part of a new counterinsurgency strategy and under the command of a new general, David Petraeus.
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…conditions in that country have been utterly transformed from those of a year ago, as a consequence of the surge. Whereas, a year ago, al Qaeda in Iraq was entrenched in Anbar province and Baghdad, now the forces of Islamist extremism are facing their single greatest and most humiliating defeat since the loss of Afghanistan in 2001. Thanks to the surge, the Sunni Arabs who once constituted the insurgency’s core of support in Iraq have been empowered to rise up against the suicide bombers and fanatics in their midst — prompting Osama bin Laden to call them “traitors.”
That’s right folks, the defeatists were wrong. The surge did in fact work!
Even though there has been no political progress in Iraq, the surge worked!
Even though 2007 was the deadliest year yet for Americans in Iraq, the surge worked!
Even though the Iraqis have only partially met 1 out of 8 benchmarks set by Bush himself, the surge worked!
Even though over 150,000 Iraqis have died from direct violence since the invasion, the surge worked!
Even though we’ve spent on average $3,584 dollars per second on this war over the years, and even though it still looks like we will never every leave, the surge worked!
Horray! America won! Now go celebrate that anniversary!
(Wait, what’s that? You want to get back to reality? Ok. How’s this for a victory plan for Iraq: Get the fuck out!)
Or ignore the war and focus on important things like a bi-polar Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan’s sex life. No into Hollywood? Then fill your mind with Roger Clemens ass cheek and Drew Peterson’s dating service. It helps me ignore the atrocities of young men and women dying for seemingly no reason.