It’s rare that I am genuinely upset about a celebrity death, but the news about George Carlin has been difficult to accept.  He died last night at age 71. 

Carlin and the also late and also great Bill Hicks have been profound influences on my social and political thinking, as much as any scholar I studied in school.  I was introduced to Carlin’s topical brand of humor by my college roommate.  We would sit in our room, drink beer, and listen to his routines over and over again - they never got old, and they never got outdated.

Carlin’s most famous routine was “The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV” - a hilariously raunchy commentary on censorship.  The opening sentence of this piece are the words that just might be on his tombstone: “I love words.” 

In my opinion, however, Carlin’s best work can be found in “Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics.”  In this set, he moves beyond just thumbing his nose at our taboos over language.  He produces a manifesto as to why words are the most powerful tools that human beings possess.

As only a Carlin routine could do, “Parental Advisory” weaves together crude middle school fart jokes and biting social commentary into a 45-minute comedy experience that can literally have you pissing in your pants.  Here are some of the best parts:

There’s a different group to get pissed off at you in this country for everything you’re not supposed to say. Can’t say Nigger, Boogie, Jig, Jigaboo, Skinhead, Moolimoolinyon, Schvatzit, Junglebunny. Greaser, Greaseball, Dago, Guinea, Whop, Ginzo, Kike, Zebe, Heed, Yid, Mocky, Himie, Mick, Donkey, Turkey, Limey, Frog. Zip, Zipperhead, Squarehead, Crout, Hiney, Jerry, Hun, Slope, Slopehead, Chink, Gook. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those words in and of themselves. They’re only words. It’s the context that counts. It’s the user. It’s the intention behind the words that makes them good or bad. The words are completely neutral. The words are innocent.

I get tired of people talking about bad words and bad language. Bullshit! It’s the context that makes them good or bad. The context. For instance, you take the word “Nigger.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with the word “Nigger” in and of itself. It’s the racist asshole who’s using it that you ought to be concerned about. We don’t mind when Richard Pryer or Eddie Murphy say it. Why? Because we know they’re not racist. They’re Niggers! Context. Context. We don’t mind their context because we know they’re black. Hey, I know I’m whitey, the blue-eyed devil, paddy-o, fay gray boy, honkey, mother-fucker myself. Don’t bother my ass. They’re only words. You can’t be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it’s an unpleasant truth, like the fact that there’s a bigot and a racist in every living room on every street corner in this country.

I don’t like words that hide the truth. I don’t like words that conceal reality. I don’t like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble facing the truth, so they invent the kind of a soft language to protect themselves from it, and it gets worse with every generation. For some reason, it just keeps getting worse.

Sometime during my life, toilet paper became bathroom tissue. I wasn’t notified of this. No one asked me if I agreed with it. It just happened. Toilet paper became bathroom tissue. Sneakers became running shoes. False teeth became dental appliances. Medicine became medication. Information became directory assistance. The dump became the landfill. Car crashes became automobile accidents. Partly cloudy bacame partly sunny. Motels became motor lodges. House trailers became mobile homes. Used cars became previously owned transportation. Room service became guest-room dining. And constipation became occasional irregularity.

When I was a little kid, if I got sick they wanted me to go to the hospital and see a doctor. Now they want me to go to a health maintenance organization…or a wellness center to consult a healthcare delivery professional. Poor people used to live in slums. Now the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in the inner cities. And they’re broke! They’re broke! They don’t have a negative cash-flow position. They’re fucking broke! Cause a lot of them were fired. You know, fired. Management wanted to curtail redundancies in the human resources area, so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce.

Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins. It’s as simple as that.

Rest in peace, George.  We’ll miss you.  After eight years of the Bush administration, we sorely need to hear your message again. 

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