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The Fight for Gay Marriage is Strengthening My Straight Marriage |
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As Chuck noted, Iowa and Vermont have become the latest states to recognize the equal right to marry for gay and lesbian couples. On April 3, Iowa’s state supreme court unanimously ruled that the state constitution requires equality for gay and lesbian couples. Vermont became the first state to recognize marriage equality through legislative action when its state legislature voted by a better than 2-1 margin to override the Governor’s veto of a marriage bill.
People who oppose marriage for gay and lesbian couples are up in arms, warning that straight people should be “afraid”, that the very institution of marriage is under threat.
As a married straight man who works at the Human Rights Campaign with about 150 people who are almost all either lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, I have been waiting for the opportunity to explain how the fight for marriage equality for lesbian and gay couples has strengthened my marriage. Just about every day, I think about couples who are fighting for the right to marry. Many of them have families. All of them want to be sure that their partner is protected, that their relationships are fully recognized under the law. I realize how lucky I am — all I had to do was walk into a courthouse, ask for a marriage license, and I was able to marry the person I love. I am acutely aware of what that means–gay and lesbian couples have to worry about whether they will be able to visit their partner if he or she is hospitalized. They are denied hundreds of legal rights, everything from tax exemptions to Social Security survivor benefits.
Opponents of marriage for gay and lesbian couples argue that marriage is being changed, that the institution is under threat. I’d like them to offer specific examples of how gay and lesbian couples getting married has harmed even one straight marriage.
Those who oppose marriage equality want to make us afraid. There is nothing to fear when loving, committed couples gain legal recognition for their marriages and their families. As more states recognize this, it will become even clearer, perhaps even boring. This is simply a question of people who want to be happy, who want to protect their families, and want to live their lives with the person they love. We all share these goals. The fight for marriage equality may be teaching us that we lesbian, gay, and straight people have far more in common than we thought.
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